Bizarre wedding traditions: The Eurovision edition
Wedding traditions are dramatically different around the world. From the type of cake served to...
We caught up with Kent-based toastmaster David Di Cara to get the lowdown on what this invaluable service can bring to your wedding.
So David, tell us about yourself
I ran my first ever event as Chairman of my college Students’ Union at our Annual General Meeting and have been running social, family and corporate events ever since. When I left college to join my family’s restaurant business, I worked front of house and learned how to interact with people – I loved it!
After a few years I entered a corporate career, which included a great deal of travel around Europe and the USA and then became a business trainer, mentor and coach – activities I still pursue today.
I had long been pressured by family and friends to take up the role of a professional toastmaster and a chance discussion with a business colleague led to a discussion with a wedding venue and nearly five years later, here I am – an experienced, trained toastmaster presiding at weddings, social events, corporate celebrations and award ceremonies, civic and masonic occasions. I have done events in the House of Commons, the Gherkin and hotels and venues all over the south-east.
Weddings are magical days and I really enjoy feeling the love and support that characterises them – and they're fun!
We hear there's some myth-bashing that needs to be done when it comes to toastmasters. What are the perceptions versus the realities?
OK let’s look at some of the common ones:
Take us through a typical wedding day for a toastmaster (if there is such a thing)
This old cliché is well worn but very true – every wedding is different! Having said that, it's also true that they can have a lot in common. There are many different scenarios we could talk about but let’s consider one of the most popular formats, where the legal ceremony, wedding breakfast and evening reception all take place in the one venue and you have contracted me to be your toastmaster. I'll use the example of a bride and groom, but the principles apply equally to same sex couples.
Prior to the day itself, we would have met and discussed the ideas you had for the day and together with the wedding co-ordinator we will have created a running order for the day which I now own – so leave your watches behind! It's always the case that something will change on the day and it's part of my role to work with the team to make things work.
On the day, I'd arrive at least an hour before the ceremony to meet with the venue manager and other suppliers including the registrar and celebrant to confirm what time they would like all the guests to be seated in the ceremony room and how else I could be of help to them. I'd meet up with the groom and his best man and groomsmen and go through what we will be doing and when. I'd be there in plenty of time to be able to meet and greet your guests as they arrive and direct them to the reception area (most commonly the bar!) until it's time for them to take their seats.
If the bride is arriving by car, I would meet her and liaise with the registrar for their interview and when the time is right form up the bridal party for their entrance. If the bride is staying at the venue, I could collect her from her room or liaise with the venue manager who might do this also.
As the bridal party approaches the ceremony room, it's most common for the celebrant to ask all the guests to rise and welcome them. We're then in the hands of the celebrant and registrar for the wedding service itself.
At the end of the ceremony, I'd meet the married couple at the door and escort them to the reception area, then turn back and invite the guests to join them and if appropriate, form a receiving line. There's usually time for a relaxing drink and chat now and often the photographer will take photos – I'm there to assist as requested.
We'll have set a time to sit down for the wedding breakfast and I'll call for the guests to take their seats and then introduce the wedding couple into the room. There are different ways of doing this, but they all normally involve a lot of cheering and noise!
There's a traditional way of doing wedding speeches and then there's the way you would like to do it! I have experience of just one speech through to five; given at the beginning of the meal, the end and half way in between. The right way to do it is the one that feels most comfortable to you, I would be happy to go through the options with you.
At the end of the meal, we sometimes need to vacate the room so it can be turned around for the evening. In this case I'd lead you out and then invite your guests to join you until we are able to return.
If there's a wedding cake to be cut, we might do this immediately after the meal or wait until later when your evening guests arrive and cut just before the first dance. There are many options for how we do this, and we would have gone through them beforehand.
I'll meet and welcome your evening guests as they arrive and direct them to where they need to go.
If there is to be a first dance, I'll liaise closely with the DJ or band to bring everyone around the dance floor and then introduce the wedding couple to the floor. Once again, there are many ways of doing this and we will have gone through them beforehand.
Once everyone has joined in the dancing, my role for the day most often comes to an end. However, it could have started much earlier and finished much later than I have described. This is the beauty of having the flexibility of making your day the one you would like it to be.
The run through I have described outlines just one example of how the day might run doesn’t go into the detail of time I would spend with the bride, her groom and other key people such as the matron of honour, best man, and close family – this will vary considerably from one wedding to another.
The most important thing for you, the wedding couple, to remember is that I'm there first and foremost for you, to take away as much of the stress and worry as is possible and to look after and communicate with your guests and to work with the whole team of people that are there to make your day the most magical it could possibly be.
What would you say to someone who says they don't need a toastmaster?
My answer is immediate – “Correct, you don't need a toastmaster!” It’s not about needing a toastmaster, it’s about looking at the difference a toastmaster could make to the wedding and the extra value that having one can bring to the occasion. We need to dig a bit deeper when we are faced with this response because the possible reasons for giving it are very varied and always worth exploring – so, in no particular order, here are some examples of the way a toastmaster would respond:
Check out www.toastmasterdaviddicara.co.uk
Or follow David on Facebook and Twitter:
www.facebook.com/ToastmasterDavidDiCara
www.twitter.com/toastmasterdave